31 May 2005

i won the game but paid the price

I didn't start the game, i was confident the team could bury the opposition. 10 minutes into the game i saw the score at 5 to 20, we were losing by 15. i knew something has to be done, so i let myself into the game. a few lay-ups later and were back in the game. then i fell, and was knocked down bad. as i was jumping and finghting for a rebound the guy in the red jersey hit me and the next thing i remember was looking at the sky as people saw my body parallel to the floor falling from 3 or maybe 4 feet high. good thing my hand broke my fall. or so i thought.

after the fall i jumped right up as if nothing happened. a few minutes later i can feel the pain crawling on my wrist. i never liked to play dirty and i don't intend of starting now. we were down by 9 at halftime and i knew my time would come.

with 2 minutes to go, i looked at the scoreboard and i saw a still commanding 7 point lead. fortunately, a three point attempt trickled in and we were down by only 4. a few exchanged baskets and freethrows later we were only down by 1 with less than a minute to go but the ball possession was still theirs. they melted the clock for a few seconds and attempted a shot. the shot didn't hit the iron and i was free to follow it up to take the lead, the crowd went wild.

30 seconds to go, the ball was theirs. an errand pass sealed the deal. we had the ball with a one point lead waiting for the opponent's foul that never came, next thing i recall we were just counting the seconds away, couldn't believe we won the game. i had to thank God for that.

we won, but for a price. after the game my left wrist have swollen up. now i can't move my left hand without pain. it's all taped up to limit its movement, reducing the pain. i now type this blog using only my right hand. tonight's the championship game and i'm reduced to a spectator. but all of this cannot take away the glory of the game-winning shot, probably the biggest shot of my small undocumented basketball career.

24 May 2005

I think I'm having a relapse...

Maybe I miss her or maybe I just miss being with someone. One thing's for sure, this ain't fun. I think I'm having a relapse. I just wish I could talk to her, I wish this mindjob would stop. It's not like I want to be with her, I just don't want to think that there will be no chance for us to be friends or maybe something more.

I have been through this before, this is unavoidable. I only have to think of something that would get my mind off of this and every little thought of relapses, of failure, of frustrations will go away. And I'm looking forward to my next blog, a blog about my recovery, my triumph, contentment.

20 May 2005

Thanks Reggie...

No more "Miller Time." Indiana's number 31 has called it quits, and nothing can make him change his mind. Not the "one more year" chants, not the hunger for an NBA title, nothing will stop him from hanging up his jersey and passing the torch on to the younger Pacers. But one thing's for sure, the Indiana Pacers will always be Reggie's team.

Thanks Reggie. For years, I have watched you hit clutch shots, daggers, draining the emotions out of your advesaries. For what its worth, I'll carry on the tradition, I'll sink three's when it matters, I'll drain shots at the buzzer, I'll be Reggie Miller. I can still hear the chants "Reggie, Reggie, Reggie..."

19 May 2005

i created a monster...

I pretty much wasted my summer, staying home, sleeping all day or playing ball. For years I've been playing basketball infront of our house, and for years people have been asking if I'll be forming a basketball league for our place. It wasn't until last week 'til I took this question seriously and by the next few days I started a mini-basketball league. I never thought i created a monster.

The league is in its 6th day now, with already 10 games played. It was fun at first but now it's eating my time. I never get to watch my favorite shows on TV, I skip meals, I get tired, I think I need a proxy. Looking at the schedule of games I've made, games will end in roughly 10 days. 10 more days with a monster that can only be destroyed by time.

05 May 2005

aza aza fighting!

watching "full house" on dvd, i can't help saying "aza aza fighting!" a korean expression for encouragement. i didn't catch the filipino-dubbed version on tv, good thing my mom bought a dvd of the koreanovela. i wasn't interested at all at first, but someone told me i should watch it. she told me it was funny. she also was the one who told me that we should stop seeing each other...

it's been a couple of months, i was afraid that watching the dvd would remind me of her. it did remind me of her but i was surprised that i felt no pain, no bitterness at all. am i over her? i don't have a clue. somehow i'm not sure if i've already recovered, it's too damn fast, and it's too good to be true. but i'll get there, if i'm not there already... aza aza fighting!

04 May 2005


on weekdays, afternoon tv is such a bore. i always end up channel surfing for hours, scanning the 40+ channels on cable tv for shows deserving of my attention. when there's really nothing on, i just set the tv to mtv or myx, and try to enjoy music videos. a few weeks back, i chanced upon sugarfree's new video "prom" and it reminded me of my senior year prom. the video featured a dateless guy at prom night, hooked on a girl with a date, her boyfriend maybe. the night turned around a hundred and eighty degrees for the guy who miracolously won prom king honors opposite the prom queen, the girl he admires. then they danced the night away 'til it was time to go. back to reality for the guy, the girl was not his. the girl just gave him a kiss and returned to his date. obviously the guy wouldn't want the night to end. but it has to.

in my senior year prom, i was dateless, as with the majority of the guys (no big deal actually, the school was co-ed). the night went deeper, dinner was served and they played some music. it never really got interesting 'til they played some slow music. i suddenly found myself in a table together with other guys with no dates and no partners to dance with. well, of course there were ladies there i could dance with, classmates, friends, but there was something missing. or should i say someone. as i watched people dancing on the dancefloor, i saw a friend walk towards my direction together with someone. The someone i was missing. she was with someone that night, her boyfriend. but he was nowhere to be seen ...so we danced.

kaye and i were in a pseudo-relationship junior prom. now it's different, she was with someone, and that someone was not me. we never really got to talk after our "fall out" so it was really nice dancing, talking, and reconnecting with her that night. again, back to reality, the night must end sometime. but im fine with it, i was content with that dance. the dance i'm blogging about 6 years after prom.

03 May 2005

the day wasn't ready for me

i was ready for this day, but apparently the day was not ready for me.

let me elaborate... a few days back, i had a fone call from a friend taking classes this summer. we talked for about half an hour, updating me on school stuff. he mentioned something about **** who is also taking the same class. They, together with another friend, often hang-out after class (the guy's gay by the way). I was quite surprised since i was planning to meet them (the gay guy and the other friend) at school to hang-out and catch up on things. But now, things got a little bit tricky, because i know it'll be awkward if she's there, and i'm there...

Then i got my groove back... (please refer to the earlier post). i got my confidence back and suddenly i had this burning curiosity inside me. i wanted to know how would i react to such a situation but most importantly, how would she react. Because i know, i'll be handling the situation quite well due to my renewed self but i don't know about her. So i went for it...

Today i went to school to meet my friends, hoping that i'd see her and see how it goes. And as i've said, the day wasn't ready for me. she was not there today, so i guess i'll still be curious, but i'm ready for sure...