11 December 2008

the ride

it was rather a normal struggle to get through the day. still can’t figure out why i had the strength to get out of bed and go to work. oh wait, i got it. i just remembered that the reason i get out of bed is because her thoughts would always wake me up so what’s the point of staying in bed.

how a wish there’s an over-the-counter pill to unlove my star. but there isn’t and i have to gut this out. i’ll be a stronger person after this i know. but will a stronger me see you again? i’ve given you your freedom and i know that even in time you might not understand the pain i’m feeling by doing that. the only consolation is that i see you happy. happy with him that is. how i wish i was in his place right now. no commitments, no expectations. how can you guys go wrong?

still you say there’s something missing. guess what? all along i knew what was missing in the two of you. trust. how can you trust someone who would give up years just to get an upgrade? even if you get to years, there’s this chance he might find that other one and ditch you. but as you’ve said, this was your decision and you are willing to suffer the consequences. but is it really worth it?

the past week has been an unbeliveable rollercoater ride. from bitter mondays to calm and collected tuesdays, from grieving wednesdays to acceptance thursdays to emotional fridays. oh what fun. i’m having the time of my life.

this too shall pass. what doesn’t kill you will only make you stronger. things happen for a reason. what wise words can make the pain go away?

only your words of “take me back” will save me from this misery.

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